Notice that the list of choices in the title excludes the natural sun. Why? Because there is none around here!! Hello Ireland, it’s JUNE! Maybe I’m still too new to Ireland. After 9 years here I still foolishly expect seasonal consistency. No wonder people talk about the weather: if you feel like complaining, rejoicing, reminiscing, being hopeful, musing, worrying, or laughing about it, the weather’s the thing: it allows us to exercise the full gamut of emotions.
Anyhow, about the fake route to sun-kissed: It all sucks, don’t you think? Even Ascot recognises it – tongue in cheek, apparently (something on the BBC website mentions the jovial drawing attention to streaky tans). It’s ugly. I tried it. My knees looked dirty and a leg wax took it all off anyhow. So I decided in desperation (I wanted to show my lower legs in a skirt for my child’s first communion in mid-May; as it turned out, it was so cold I was in stockings anyhow) to go for the sun bed option.
The beauty salon in my nearby town was hopping. I thought it was the fake-proof solution. But soon I was able to recognise the sun-bed look (which just about 100% of the adult female population in this town is sporting this rainy season): a bit too brown even behind the ears. A suspiciously even and dark tone.
But that’s not what put me off: I began to notice on my own tummy and face what seem like pale “age spots”. I’m a bit freckled anyhow, but a brunette with no family history of skin cancer, so statistically not really high risk. But I didn’t like the look of these discolorations. I suspended my sun-bed sessions on sensible and cautious grounds. Wouldn’t it be a shame to be dead in a decade (age 50-ish), before my last child graduated from university? Before I figured out what it is I want to do with my life? (ha ha ha ha ha. Actually, and sadly, that’s not a joke…)
But sure, in the end, I want to be tanned, and if the real sun isn’t going to show itself, I’ll probably go back, pay the Euro 1 / minute, and use up my Euro 20 (that was the cheapest) bottle of “moisturising” coconut-stinky cream. (why doesn’t my own almond-oil/ grapeseed-oil/ jojoba-oil mix suffice? The beauty salon couldn’t really say, but it was imperative that I spend …. er, that is, that I protect my skin using THIS moisturizer…)
Ahh, summer.
